A Routine Checkup with an Agenda

Last week I took my 12-year-old to a routine doctor’s appointment.

What was supposed to be a basic checkup turned into a conversation about food, her body and a whole lot of comments that were someone else's beliefs disguised as concern.

Stated so matter-of-factly and in a tone that both she and I agreed felt like a personal attack.

And at 12, you’re figuring it all out. Not to mention starting to see messaging all around you.

Sometimes a few off-hand comments from an adult... a doctor, coach, or parent are all it takes to start the story.

The story that says:

"My body isn't quite right."
"I should probably fix it."

Because the message underneath those comments from her doctor was loud and clear.

It's the same message girls and women hear everywhere:

Your body determines your worth.

And how you eat makes you good or bad.

But here's what kept running through my mind afterward...

Most women didn’t wake up one day hating their bodies.

The story started somewhere.

In messaging all around us... social media, the diet industry, movies, TV, casual conversations...
And in small comments like these, that quietly planted shame around food or bodies.

Comments that slowly become a story you carry about yourself.

At home, we try to mirror a healthy relationship with food and our bodies.
But I'd be lying if I didn't say this wasn't always the case.
I grew up in the same world most women did, where dieting, food guilt, and body criticism were just the background noise of life.

Which means I know firsthand how easy it is to miss how these messages land on our kids.

But after we left that appointment, I knew it mattered to say something.
So we talked.

Because sometimes the most important thing we can do as parents is help our kids separate someone else’s beliefs from their own relationship with their body.

But here’s the thing.

Most of us didn’t grow up learning how to trust our bodies.
So sometimes we don’t even realize when those same messages show up around our kids.
And sometimes they come from places we’re taught to trust.

Which is why doing our own work around food and body image matters because when we start to see the stories we were handed we get the chance to decide whether or not we keep passing them on.

Sometimes the body story starts in moments like these...at a routine check up.
And if we’re paying attention, it’s also where we get the chance to interrupt it.

What a $3,000 Espresso Machine and Coaching Have in Common

We just spent $3k replacing our espresso machine.

The OG. Aaron’s gift to himself when he got his job with Apple in Jan 2021.

The first one gave us 5 years of return.

It was with us through two cross-country moves and made at least 5,000+ shots of espresso.

And saved us an embarrassing amount of Starbucks money. (Aaron did the math, it would have been close to 20k!)

It paid us back over and over. Not just in money but in time, ease, and those little everyday moments that matter. It would’ve cost more to not replace it. Because the investment isn’t always about dollars.

It’s about what that investment gives you back in your life. And that’s kind of like coaching.

Sure it’s a financial investment but most women don’t realize what coaching can give them back in their life.

Not  in dollars but in your day to day life.

Coaching gives you space to be human without beating the shit out of yourself for it. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming more you — with more compassion, awareness, and choice. Not because you never spiral or have a hard day again, but because the grip loosens. You notice it faster. You pause sooner. You stop making it mean something is wrong with you.

So instead of these patterns running your life in the background, on autopilot, you can see them.

Name them. Normalize them. And choose something different.

I personally have been paying for coaching since 2020.

It started as this strong pull that something needed to change in my marriage, in my life, in my relationship with myself.

And now it’s become about so much more.

It helped me stop being controlled by:

• blaming everything outside of me
• living in resentment
• unspoken expectations in my marriage
• carrying everyone else’s emotions
• diet culture noise
• emotional eating and coping
• all-or-nothing thinking
• my inner critic running the show
• mom guilt and perfectionism
• old generational patterns
• victim mindset
• waiting for confidence
• outsourcing decisions
• chasing happiness “later”

And I’ve watched my clients experience these same shifts too.

Now, it’s not that these things never show up… hello. I’m human.

Coaching didn’t remove the challenges or thoughts. It removed their power. And gave me mine back.

When I have those moments, I now have tools + support that I didn’t have before.

And the version of me six years ago compared to the version of me today is unrecognizable, in the best way.

Now I just deal with new challenges on a new level. (new levels of growth = new challenges.)

And honestly, I really like this level and love where it’s headed.

Me personally, I LOVE talking to my coach regularly.
And I’m confident to say some of my clients are the same.

Some renew again and again.
Some work with me for six months and feel complete.
Some do a maintenance package and stay connected, just less often.
Because having someone to talk to isn’t just a “fix my life” thing.

It’s:

• support

• accountability

• a place to process real life

• a space where you don’t have to do everything alone

• someone who helps you see your blind spots with compassion

For a lot of women, coaching becomes part of how they take care of themselves.

Like the gym. Like a mental reset.

Not because something is wrong but because life keeps on life-ing and support is powerful.

Just like this espresso machine…coaching is the kind of support that keeps paying you back in how you show up in your life, your relationships, and in your own head.

Not because everything becomes perfect but because you stop spending the next five years in the same loop. And that kind of return is something you can’t put a price tag on.

Looking for this kind of support? I got you. Let’ chat.

Just Because Your Inner Critic Is Loud Doesn’t Mean She’s Accurate

A common pattern I see in women I coach…

Their brain is very good at telling convincing, and not so nice, stories, especially about themselves.

And they assume that if a thought shows up, it must be true.

That’s how spirals start.

A single thought turns into interpretation. Interpretation turns into meaning.

Meaning turns into a story that feels factual, even when it isn’t.

The work isn’t arguing with your thoughts or trying to “think positive.”

That usually just creates more resistance.

The real shift happens when you learn how to pause the story before you add another chapter.

When you slow it down, you can relate to your thoughts with curiosity instead of self-criticism.

You can decide whether a thought actually deserves your attention or whether it’s just mental noise.

This is the kind of work we do together in 1:1 coaching.

Don’t Believe Everything the Internet Tells You

There’s a message floating around online right now that sounds empowering on the surface but quietly messes with friendships, especially for women running businesses online.

It goes something like this:

“If your close friends don’t like, comment on, or share your content, they’re not real friends.”

And a lot of women are absorbing that message without ever stopping to question it.

So let’s pause for a second and actually look at what’s happening here.

This Is an Unspoken Rulebook (No One Agreed To)

That message creates an invisible rule: “My close friends should show up for me on social media.”

But here’s the problem-that rule was never discussed. Never agreed to. Never signed off on…

It’s just assumed. And when reality doesn’t match that rule, when your friend doesn’t like your post, comment on your reel, or share your launch, your brain fills in the meaning:

“They don’t support me.”
“They’re not a good friend.”
“If they really cared, they would show up.”

Not because of what they did or didn’t do. But because of what you made it mean.

That’s where resentment sneaks in, distance gets created and friendships quietly start to feel strained.

Friendship Wasn’t Meant to Be Transactional

When we tie friendship to online engagement, things get weird fast.

It turns into:

• You comment on my post = loyal friend

• You skip my content = bad friend

Friendship is deeper than likes, comments, or shares.

Your closest friends can:

• Love you deeply

• Believe in you

• Be proud of you

• Cheer you on in real life

• Ask about your work

• Support you privately

…and still not engage with your content online.

That doesn’t make them unsupportive. It makes them human.

Your Friends Don’t Owe You Their Time Online

You cannot manage other people’s actions. You CAN manage your thoughts about their actions.

Your bestie isn’t scrolling socials at night thinking: “Must share all my friends’ posts!!”

She’s thinking about her kid’s dance recital, or grocery lists, or absolutely nothing because she’s exhausted and numbing out. People get online for their stress relief, their interests, their fun. Not to market your business.

And they shouldn't have to.

Social Media Is Really Good at Handing Us Stories

This is the part I want you to sit with: Social media is excellent at giving us expectations we didn’t realize we were carrying.

It hands us stories like:

• Support should look like this.

• Friendship should show up this way.

• If they cared, they would…

And unless you pause and question those stories, you’ll carry them straight into your relationships.

Ask yourself*:

• Is this something I want to believe?

• Is this a rule I actually chose?

• Is carrying this story helping me feel more connected—or more resentful?

Just like movement isn’t only valuable if it changes your body, friendship isn’t only valuable if it boosts your business. They don’t need to be tangled together to be important in your life. Separate the two.

You can feel supported without tracking engagement.
You can let support look different without making it mean something is wrong.

Your mind will feel lighter.
Your relationships will feel cleaner.
And you’ll stop letting the internet quietly rewrite the rules of your life.

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*You might ask yourself these questions and decide you do want to believe this. You might decide it is a rule you want to live by and that’s okay.

I’m not here to tell you which side is right or wrong.
I’m here to show you how silently carrying a belief without questioning it or choosing it intentionally can start shaping your thoughts, your relationships, and your experience without you realizing it.

The Rulebook You Didn’t Know You Wrote (And Why It’s Making Life Harder)

If you’ve ever had a moment where you thought, “This should NOT be happening,” hi, welcome, pull up a seat.

I recently had one of those moments thanks to a broken Peloton treadmill upon delivery.

Let me explain.

I was all ready. We cleaned the gym, we moved everything around, we made space. We were ready.
My treadmill on the other hand, was not.

The delivery guys got it down the steps and opened the box only to find it broken in two places. I don’t think putting it back on the dolly and getting it up the staircase was on their bingo card but it showing up broken and not being able to get another one until the New Year - definitely not on my bingo card.

My brain went straight into a very dramatic, “Nope. Absolutely not. This should NOT be happening.”

But underneath that was a full rulebook (or a manual) for how Peloton should handle it.

In my head, they should:

• expedite the replacement

• fix it immediately

• make the entire process quick and painless

One minor problem: that’s not their actual process.

And the more I argued with reality, the more pissed and frustrated I got.
Not because of the situation itself but because of the rulebook I wrote that Peloton has never even seen.

Here’s the thing:
Feeling disappointed when something arrives broken is completely normal.
You’re human. You get to feel that.

But what I did next (and what we ALL do) is where the unnecessary suffering kicked in.

I didn’t just feel disappointed.
I stacked:

• frustration

• anger

• resentment

• stress

…all on top of an already disappointing situation.

Why? Because I was clinging to a standard that didn’t actually exist.

When I finally let myself feel the actual disappointment, without the story, without the mental rulebook, the intensity started to settle.
Because disappointment is real but arguing with reality is what amplifies it.

And this is where things get interesting.

We don’t just do this with companies.
We do it constantly with people, especially the ones we love.

We all have manuals (invisible rulebooks) for how people should behave.

How partners should show up.
How family should act.
How friends should respond.
How coworkers should communicate.

And when they don’t follow the rulebook they never agreed to, it doesn’t just annoy us, we’re annoyed PLUS the layered frustration of thinking, “You’re not doing what I think you should be doing.”

This is where so much unnecessary suffering comes from, not the moment itself, but the meaning we attach to it.

Let me be clear: dropping the manual doesn’t mean you suddenly love the situation, or accept behavior that truly doesn’t work for you.

Dropping the manual simply means:

• you stop arguing with what’s real

• you stop expecting someone to be a different version of themselves

• you stop suffering twice

And here’s the part that feels empowering AF (aka, where you take your power back and focus on what you can control in the situation):

You can accept someone for who they are AND you can decide if that actually works for your life.

Same with Peloton:

I can accept their process is what it is and also decide if I want to keep giving them my business.

It’s the both-and that gives you your power back.

Taking your power back isn’t about controlling people.
It’s not about rewriting the world to match your internal rulebook.

It’s about choosing what works for you without the added drama.

You get to ask yourself:

• Can I drop my idea of how this person “should” act and accept who they actually are?

• Or is this misaligned enough that I make a change?

That’s where the power is.
That’s where things start feeling lighter.

So let me leave you with this:

Where in your life are you making things harder by creating your own rulebook that argues with reality, without even realizing it?

Because the moment you see it is when you can actually choose something different.

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FYI: For those wondering, the process for Peloton when this happens is that you literally get back in line, behind anyone else who recently ordered and find the next open delivery date (which is an additional 2-3 weeks out)…I still do not find that to be “good” customer service BUT I have accepted that it is their process AND I enjoy my current equipment (bike) from the enough to wait it out and get my treadmill, soon-ish.