I took the leap....

For those of you who have known me for years, you know my journey. For those of you who haven’t known me long, WELCOME, you have a lot to learn but here is something NEW in my life. I have been sharing the entire journey on my IG: @AshleyLMolitor

Her (my mom sag) tombstone would read:
RIP Felicia the flap.
Gone but not forgotten.

I worked hard for 6 last years on my mind & body.

When I first started my journey, it was a struggle mentally to accept & embrace my mom sag.

But with a whole hell of a lot of thought work & daily practice I got there.

I no longer had shame over it. I would literally tuck that shit in & go about my day. It was apart of me & my story. It was the skin that protected my belly that grew 2 tiny humans.

So what made me take the leap?

I had embraced myself & was happy with my body.

Crazy right?! It sounds like it makes ZERO fucking sense but I could have stayed just like Ashley on the left & been fine!

That feeling of acceptance or happiness doesn’t come from the size or shape of your body, it comes from what you think about yourself. I knew those thoughts were available to me as the person on the left & still are as the person on the right. BOTH versions of me are equally worthy of my own love & acceptance.

Happiness. Acceptance. Embracing who you are. That is an inside job, y’all.

No change on the outside will fix what is going on, on the inside.

Start there.

And from that place of love, you do things because you WANT TO not because you think have to in order to feel better.

I owe my surgery credit to Dr. Judith Gurley.

April 12, 2021 (left pic, the morning before surgery) - April 22, 2021 (right pic)

• Swelling will get better over the next 6 weeks but some of it may linger a little longer, totally normal.

• There is ointment in my belly button in the new pic. This is currently my reality. Ointment. Non adhesive bandages. And girdles, hence the lines on my stomach. It is my BFF, I wear it all day/night except when I am showering. And the drains WERE my friend for a week, thank god those are out.

Confidence

Confidence doesn’t come from achieving a goal, it comes from the work you do TO achieve a goal.

Step outside of your comfort zone, even when you are warm & cozy inside of it.

Do the big scary thing even if it makes you feel like you might shit your pants.

Get comfy being uncomfy.

If you sit around waiting for the discomfort to go away before you take action - you’re gonna be playing small & sis, you are not here to play small.

Where do you think you can’t take action because you don’t have the confidence YET? What can you do right now knowing that each rep will build your confidence muscle & get you closer to where you want to be?

Coach hack: I like to think of a person I admire who has already achieved a similar goal & ask myself, what would “she” do? What did she do to get where she is?

Pro Coach hack: That person you admire can even be YOUR future self. What would she do?

Live Intentionally

Go where you feel most alive.

One of my mentors said:

Life is HARD when you’re unhappy.

But when you’re unhappy consistently all of the time, life is miserable.

You say - “That’s just life.”

When you believe THAT, your quality of life is lower.

And quality of those around you & their life is lower.

And she nailed it.

That WAS my life.

I was negative & unhappy on the regular.

And a victim to all of my circumstances.

I had so many shitty thoughts about my body that kept me stuck in cycles of yo-yo dieting & inconsistently exercising.

My relationship with food was subpar.

I lacked self confidence because I never set goals & followed through.

I had little awareness of my self worth.

My stories about my marriage were creating so much distance between Aaron & I that we had filed for divorce, not once but twice.

In my eyes, “that was just my life.”

I was settling for that story!

Thank the fucking LORDT (in my best Madea voice) I invested in myself & life coaching.

Now I know that I get to wake up each day & decide who I want to be.

My circumstances don’t determine my mood. I do.

I try NEW things. I fail. I learn. I grow. I repeat.

My relationship with MYSELF, my body, with food AND with Aaron has completely changed.

I learned how to manage my mind & not give my power away to anyone or anything else.

I live with so much more intention.

I feel more in control of my life now that I ever did before.

And you can too.

I am now accepting new clients. And if anything I have said here or in ANY of my pasts posts speak to you - then we should probably chat.

Click HERE to set up a free consultation to see if 1:1 Coaching is a fit for you.

Let’s get you on the path to living the most intentional kick ass life that you deserve & where YOU feel most alive.

Excuse me? Can you change so I can like you?

What not to do: Let me tell you how to behave so I can like you better.

What (you CAN CHOOSE) to do: Accept them for who they are.

When you can accept someone without trying to change who they are, it is easier to allow space for them in your life.

Just know that 1/2 of the time, it will be a fucking mess & 1/2 of the time, it will be fucking awesome. And both are ok.

Happily ever after only exists in fairy tales & fairy tales are not real.

Also, just know, it’s always a choice.

To go. To stay.

To accept them. To not accept them.

Only YOU know what is best for you.

And whatever you decide is exactly the path you were meant to be on.

How do I know? Because you are always exactly where you are meant to be.

Make a decision. Love your reasons. And have your own back.

Daily Practice: Brain Dump!

6,000 thoughts run through your mind on the daily!

(It used to be 60,000 but new studies show 6,000.)

80% of them are likely negative.

And MANY of them are subconscious.

How can you become aware of what is going on up there when there are SO MANY thoughts?!

Well, here is my FAVORITE thing to do EVERY DAMN DAY!

Brain Dump! Sit down. Ask yourself, WHAT IS GOING ON?! Write. Don’t edit yourself. Just let it go!

Pro Tip: If you have something specific you want to write about, prompt yourself with questions: Why am I feeling anxious/stressed/angry? What am I currently thinking that has me wanting to punch my hubs in the face?

Look at all of it & decide, what are FACTS & what are thoughts.

Pro Tip: Facts are things that happened, words that someone said, stuff going on in the world, something everyone can agree IS, indeed a fact. The facts (aka circumstances) are shit you can’t change/control.

But the thoughts, those are optional. Sometimes our thoughts serve us & sometimes they don’t.

FYI: A lot of the time, we think our feelings are coming from the fact of the situation or the circumstance but it is really our thought about it!

Pick a few of your thoughts & ask yourself “how is this thought making me feel? When I am feeling that way because I am thinking that, how do I show up? For my biz? For my fam? For me?!”

That is when you can start to see the result those thoughts are creating for you.

The best part, you get to decide if you want to keep those thoughts or not.

Get curious! How else can you look at it? Is there a way that the thought MAY NOT even be true? Does it serve you to think it? Or not think it?

Last but not least, DO NOT JUDGE YOURSELF FOR YOUR THOUGHTS! You are learning to be more aware! Just be curious & compassionate.

Like I said, most of them aren’t conscious thoughts & they lean more towards the negative than the positive! BUT that means you are just a human with a human brain! There is NOTHING wrong with you!

The goal here is to:
-become more aware.
-start thinking more on purpose, less by default.
-create more of the results you WANT!