From Keeping Score to Finding Peace: A HUGE Relationship Shift

I used to spend more time finding proof of what was wrong than appreciating what was right. I kept a mental tally (ok actually, it was a notes section in my phone) of every time he yelled—it was a lot, y'all—or the times he didn’t automatically just know how to be a dad or husband…like he’d been here before. LOL.

Basically, every time he didn’t show up the way I thought he should. Tally that shit up! (at risk of current controversies with Ryan Reynolds..dare I say, in my best Van Wilder voice, “write that down”.)

I was so damn busy waiting for him to fix himself that I wasn’t focusing on the one thing I could control—ME.

Eventually, I stopped keeping score. I stopped focusing on all the shit about him that drove me crazy, that I had ZERO power to change, and I focused on me.

I started showing up differently—more communication, less letting his shitty moods dictate mine, and taking ownership of MYSELF. And eventually, the energy in our marriage changed too.

Y'all, this didn’t happen overnight. It was actually a slow (and sometimes painful) process. I made a choice to be patient and wait—but that’s not the right choice for everyone.

And honestly? I wish coaching had come into my life sooner. We spent years in that exhausting space of Do I stay? Do I go?—where you don’t want to leave, but you also don’t want to keep living like this. And the whole time, I was giving all my power away to him instead of taking ownership of myself.

Coaching helped me see that we could have gotten here sooner—whether that meant staying together in a healthier way or realizing it was time to walk away. The indecision was draining as hell.

I had to stop waiting for him to change & start asking myself:

How do I want to show up?

Think about it.  If you’re holding onto the past, or the story that he should just know what you need—or that he just needs to change—you will only stay stuck right where you are.

But when you stop focusing on him & start focusing on YOU, everything shifts.

✨ What if, just for today, you dropped the test & asked instead?
✨ What if you stopped trying to fix him & focused on who you want to be in the relationship?
✨ What if you stopped looking for what’s missing & started noticing what’s working?

Trying to control someone else will never give you the clarity you’re looking for.
Let me say that again: You’ll never find the answers you’re looking for when all you’re focused on is trying to control or change someone else.

But when you focus on YOU—your happiness, your needs, your choices—that’s when everything becomes clear.

PS—Only YOU get to decide what’s right for you. You are your greatest resource. A coach doesn’t make that decision for you, but a coach can help you get clear on what feels aligned—whether that’s working through things or walking away.

Stop Hustling for Approval: How I Took My Power Back and Help Women Do the Same

I used to think the key to happiness was getting my sh*t together—perfect job, perfect body, perfect life. Yeah... that didn’t exactly work out.

Corporate life had me stuck in the grind. Later, as a health and fitness coach, I saw it wasn’t just me. So many women were chasing the same impossible standards—thinking they had to do more, be more, or shrink themselves to fit the world’s expectations.

✔️ Always say yes.
✔️ Hustle harder, because rest is for quitters.
✔️ Your body should look a certain way to be worthy.
✔️ Don’t complain, just push through.

That’s the BS story we’ve all been fed. And honestly, I was f*cking exhausted.

It wasn’t until I started unlearning those stories that things shifted. I learned how to take my power back by doing LESS—not more. I stopped putting my happiness in someone else’s hands or waiting for a number on the scale to tell me I was ‘good enough.’ And let me tell you... life feels a hell of a lot lighter now.

That’s exactly what I help women do as a coach. We rewrite the script, challenge those old stories, and build a life that works for YOU—without all the hustle, guilt, or pressure.

If you’ve been stuck in that cycle of 'never enough,' let’s chat. There’s a better way.

Free Vibe Check (45 min call to see if we are a good fit)!

A Note to My Younger Self: Trust Yourself and Take the Risk

“Real safety isn’t in playing small or settling for ‘good enough.’ It’s in trusting yourself to take the risk and handle whatever comes next.”

— Ashley Molitor

"Just play it safe."

A lot of us grew up with that message, even if it wasn't spoken.

We watched our parents do it. They worked hard, paid the bills, put food on the table, & kept a roof over our heads. Safety meant stability—& that stability meant survival.

• Stick with the job-it keeps you secure, even if it drains you.

• Stay in the marriage-even if it's breaking you, it's easier than starting over.

• Keep the peace-it's 'safer' than speaking your truth & shaking $hit up.

• Don't rock the boat-even if you're sinking on the inside.

These lessons weren't just passed down-they're wired into us.

Our brains are literally programmed to avoid risk. Back in caveman days, survival depended on staying with the group, avoiding danger, & playing by the rules.

No wonder so many of us feel stuck in patterns of "just get by."

But here's the thing-those old survival strategies? They're not serving you anymore. They're holding you back.

Playing it safe might feel comfortable, but it's not the same as thriving. It keeps you small. It stops you from growing and discovering what's possible.

What if safety isn't about staying stuck in 'good enough'?

What if real safety comes from trusting yourself to handle whatever happens when you dare to color outside the lines?

• You don't have to stay in the job that's suffocating you.

• You don't have to keep saying yes when you mean no.

• You don't have to keep sacrificing yourself for the sake of "keeping things together."

The woman you want to become?

She's not in the job that's 'safe!
She's not in the relationship that keeps you shrinking.
She's not constantly saying yes when she wants to say no.

But she is inside you-waiting for you to take the risk & trust in your own power to handle whatever comes next.

Xoxo,
Ash