Shift Your Story: Exercise

ME THEN:

✨Dreaded working out!

✨Created ALL the excuses (aka STORIES) to not workout like, “no motivation” or needing “more hours in the day.”

Both of these led me to start & quit.

Then I’d beat the $hit out of myself for never being able to stick to anything!

I was creating a cycle.

workout 👉🏼 repeat $hitty stories 👉🏼 quit 👉🏼 stay stuck when I wanted change 👉🏼 try again 👉🏼 repeat stories & cycle

ME NOW: 


✨I make movement fun, lip syncing & dance parties included.

✨I have a why that fuels me that’s NOT attached to the number on the scale.

✨I learned that motivation is fleeting. I can’t rely on it to create the results I want.

Just because I’m not motivated to do something doesn’t mean that is a sign to skip it.

In fact, the more I showed up for myself (even in tiny increments), the more it became natural for me to want to get up & do it!

I don’t even really think about it now - it’s just part of who I am.

The new story I wrote + making movement fun & meaningful to me created a new habit that serves me.


✨And the time...it was always there, I just had to drop my story to find it.

Yep. The hours in a day weren’t the problem, it was me & my story around time, which impacted how I used my time. I did anything & everything but make space in my schedule for movement.

Can you relate?!

These are just a few that did not serve me when it came to my relationship with my body & movement. I had to rewrite them in order to step into the version of myself I am today. 



And guess what?!!? On May 1️⃣6️⃣, I’m hosting an in person ladies night, Coaching + Cocktails, we’re gonna talk about becoming aware of our stories so we can keep the ones that serve us & work on ditching the ones that don’t! 


Spots are limited. Head here for more info!

Shitty Self Talk & Self Limiting Beliefs

I feel like this topic is the backbone of what I coach my clients on - both shitty self talk AND self limiting beliefs come up on the regular so it’s time to talk about the two, how they are different and how they work together!

Shitty Selk Talk (SST):

✨Negative sentences flying through our brains that don’t serve us.

✨Our brains have a negativity bias so we tend to give these thoughts more attention than they deserve.

✨They leave us feeling like a$$ about ourselves (clearly my own definition here).

✨Shitty self talk can be subtle or loud.

✨It’s 100% your inner mean girl just being a bitch.

“I’m so stupid, I can’t believe I said that.”

Result: You are all up in your head obsessing over how dumb you are for what you said. Your brain proceeds to find all the evidence that you’re stupid to prove it even more true.

You spend a whole lot of time beating yourself up.

All of this blocks you from being compassionate with yourself & being able to see all the ways you’re actually pretty damn smart.

Or maybe someone gives you a compliment and your immediate reply is “Thanks BUT _____….” insert negative comment about yourself here.

It’s like you have negative tunnel vision about yourself, your body or even a situation.

Start to check your thoughts. If you’re talking to yourself like an asshole most of the time, that’s your inner critic coming in 🔥 with SST. 

Some shitty self talk comes in waves but thinking certain thoughts over & over again lead them to become beliefs. Enter….

Self Limiting Beliefs (SLBs):

✨Stories that you’re holding onto for dear life.

✨You don’t question them & you believe them to be true.

✨You may not even realize you have that story until someone outside of you (ahem, a coach) helps you see it.

✨They limit your potential AND keeps you stuck AF.

“I’m just not the kind of person who belongs in that room.”

Result: This holds you back from showing up fully IF you even show up at all.

It can feel VERY factual to you and it’s likely a fear of failure playing out as a limiting belief in your mind.

SLBs like to keep you safe in your bubble.

They are like programming in your brain from ALL the people & things in your life. Past experiences. Comments from people in your life. The values & beliefs you were taught growing up. Messaging from all around us (social media is a big one). It’s easy for your brain to hang onto SLBs. Our brains prefer to be efficient & believing something new requires stepping outside of our comfort zone, which takes effort & can be risky. AKA, not safe in our bubble.

A lot of them start with “It’s just who I am…” or “I’ve always been this way.”

These could have came from childhood, also highly like they aren’t true.

Pay attention to your thoughts. You can even write them down. And really start to question them, where does this thought come from? When did I decide this?

---

✨Your inner critic aligns with your self limiting beliefs.

✨They work “well” together - just the brains way of keeping your safe experiencing failure, rejection, embarrassment, etc.

✨They both can create a shit ton of doubt & feelings of “not enough” in your life.

✨Our kiddos can even hear or catch onto them & internalize them (potentially leading to their own SST & SLBs down the road).

Phew! I hope this helped you see how the two are different but also how they can gang up on you.

How Becoming A Girl Mom Shifted Something In Me

Like MANY women - I started my journey from a place of disgust for my body.

It was a cycle l'd struggled with for most of my life.

Maybe you're familiar with it:

• Beat yourself up for how you eat, drink & never work out.

• Try something (diet, workout program, etc).

• Quit when change doesn't happen fast enough or when you "mess up."

The changes to my body post kids brought on a new level of shame. My inner critic got louder.

But as a new girl mom, something in me had a stronger desire to change. CONTRO

At the time, I didn't know what that something was so I did what I always did... started the journey from the same place I always had, "I must change, I'm so gross."

But this time, I tossed in a new step:

📝Rewriting my story📝

The more I got into it, the more I realized it was the missing piece.

It wasn’t a specific “diet” or a certain workout.

It was the story I told myself, that was the work.

✨I had to become someone who believed I was capable of achieving something I’d never done & stop using past attempts as my evidence for why I should just quit before I even start.

✨I practiced being more compassionate with myself.

✨I was no longer in a hurry to change so I could feel acceptable. I WAS acceptable, no matter my shape or size.

✨I had to get to know my body & get more in tune with what worked for me; not the results I thought I wanted based off of what I saw other people achieve.

✨I was more focused on how I wanted to take care of myself, realistically (not quick fixes or unsustainable options).

As I worked through this, changes came naturally without pressure.

What can you do to start on this path? 👇🏼

✨Practice accepting (or loving) yourself throughout the journey.

✨Don’t make yourself miserable trying to reach your goals because you’ll still be miserable when you get there. The same brain goes with you.

✨You’re a perfect & worthy human just as you are BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t also be a work in progress. Those 2 concepts can coexist.

Read that last one again.💕

Come find me: @ashleylmolitor on IG for more tips on rewriting the stories that keep you stuck.📝

Self Acceptance Myth

Yes! You can accept the amazing human you are in this moment AND still (want to) make changes.

It’s being able to say:
“I embrace the current version of myself, imperfections & all. I’m whole & worthy as I am AND I’m ready to see what I’m capable of.”

Self acceptance is kind of a big deal when it comes to not treating yourself like an asshole, whether you want change or not.

Acceptance leads you into more of what’s possible.

You become kinder, more compassionate towards yourself. (Less of that shitty self talk…)

You stop looking so hard for external validation because you know how awesome you are.

Your confidence goes up! (and they stay there…HA, IYKYK.)

And the journey towards achieving your goals becomes a little lighter, more freeing, less rushed & way more fun.

.

.

.

I can help you achieve that. Work with me.

Weight Between Your Ears

Y’all keep trying to change the weight on your body with a new diet or some other fad but you haven’t even addressed the weight between your ears.

You’re going to keep creating the same results if you keep thinking the same damn thing.

If you want different results - you have to look at what’s going on inside.

“The weight between my ears?”

• Basically stories that hold you down & keep you in a cycle.

When it comes to your body, it can be:

• Rules or messaging from diet culture & our society.

• Emotional eating and/or mindless eating.

• Subpar relationship with your body.$hitty stories you have about your body.

• Thoughts you may have about your ability to change your habits or be someone who ________.
  (insert your story here).

• All or nothing thinking.
  

If you are stuck in ANY area of your life (with your bod, jobs, relationships) & it feels like you’re living in ground hog day, that’s where I come in - let’s chat.

Click here to work with me 1:1.