What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?

Ever look in the mirror and feel like you're spiraling?
One minute you’re checking your outfit—and the next, your brain’s feeding you a full-blown highlight reel of everything that’s “wrong” with you.

That moment? It’s not just about your body.
It’s the result of the stories you’ve been living by. And your thoughts about your body are just ONE example.

The blog below will help you figure out what those stories are (in all areas of your life),
where they came from, and how to finally rewrite them—for good.

There are stories running in the background of your life. Most of us don’t even realize they’re there.

We wake up and they’re there. We go through our day and they’re there. Same thoughts. Same patterns. Same shitty self-talk on repeat.

And we don’t even question them because to us those thought loops feel so freaking true.

And a lot of the time… it’s not exactly uplifting.

It sounds like:

• “You’re not doing enough.”

• “Your body isn’t where it should be.”

• “Gah, WTF is wrong with you?!”

• “You’re definitely screwing up your kids.”

• “You literally can’t get your shit together.”

• “You’re still struggling with this? Really?!”

• “You’re too much for people.”

• “Nobody cares what you have to say.”

Yes, negative self talk is a bitch. But it is also something ALL of us experience.

It was WAY easier for our brains to go the negative route vs finding ways we’re kinda freaking awesome. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with you because of it, it is literally how our brains are wired.

And finding ways to view ourselves in a different light doesn’t always come easy, especially when your brain wants to go the other direction. But the good news is, it is possible.

It’s a DAILY practice but you can flip the script on the stories you tell about yourself that may not be serving you.

Step 1: Start Paying Attention Today

• What thoughts show up when you wake up?

• What do you hear in your mind when you look in the mirror?

• What runs through your head when you sit in traffic, get an email, or open social media?

You don’t have to fix it. You don’t have to change it. You just have to notice it.

Because you can’t change what you’re not even aware of. (And trust me—with awareness, you are way more powerful than whatever old belief your brain is throwing at you.)

Not sure what stories you're carrying? Try this exercise:

What do I really believe about...
My body?
My ability to feel my feelings?
My relationship with food?
The kind of mom, partner, or friend I am?
How much I can actually handle?
What’s possible for my life?

Just start noticing what comes up when you ask these.

You might think, “I don’t think anything about that” — but if you’re miserable at your job, or constantly stressed about your relationship, or spiraling around food... there’s likely an underlying story shaping that experience.

And just to be clear: Not every thought is a problem. Some are empowering. Some you’ve fought hard to believe. Some come and go with no negative impact. But the ones we’re noticing are the ones that chip away at you without you even realizing it. That create results in your life that you don’t like or can’t seem to figure why you have them. That you think are just facts - it is just who you are. But if a story is creating results you don’t like? Keeping you stuck? Leaving you drained?

That’s the one to get curious about. That’s the self-talk we’re here to shift.

Step 2: Start Questioning the Thought

Once you’ve noticed what’s showing up on repeat, you might realize: some of these thoughts… you didn’t even choose. Maybe they were handed to you. Programmed in. Picked up somewhere along the way.

Now it’s time to start questioning them.

Are these thoughts even TRUE? Are they even HELPFUL?

Because when you start challenging that old inner dialogue—you loosen its grip. You stop living by rules and beliefs you never agreed to.

When you catch your brain offering up a thought that’s doing more harm than good, try asking:

• What evidence do I have to prove this true?

• How is this not true?

• What’s the opposite of this thought?

• What would my best friend say if I told her this?

This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about getting curious about the stories you’ve been living by—and realizing you can choose to change them.

Step 3: Separate Yourself from the Thought

Just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean it’s true. And even if it feels true? It’s still just a thought. Not your identity. Not your truth.

You don’t have to believe everything you think about yourself.

You are not your thoughts. You are the one noticing them.

Here’s a simple trick: add some distance. Try saying:

• “My brain keeps offering the thought...”

• “I’m thinking the thought...”

• “There goes my brain again repeating that old story...”

Suddenly, the thought becomes just that: a sentence in your mind. Not who you are. Not something you have to believe.

Maybe those beliefs were programmed by past experiences. Maybe they’re just the greatest hits from old patterns. Either way—you don’t have to keep giving them power.

You get to choose a different belief.

Step 4: Rewrite the Story

So now what? You’ve noticed the thought. You’ve questioned the ones that don’t serve you. You’ve separated yourself from them.

Now it’s time to write a better story.

Ask yourself:

• How do I want to think about myself?

• What could I believe instead?

• What would my Future Self say to me?

New thoughts don’t need to feel magical. In fact, they might feel awkward or uncertain at first. The trick is choosing something that feels believable to you right now—something that stretches you just enough to build trust and shift the story one layer at a time.

You’re learning to shift your inner narrative—one thought, one belief at a time.
And if you get to decide what to think on purpose - why not make it work in your favor?

But YOU are the author. The creator. The voice that gets to decide what plays on repeat. And you get to choose the story you want to live by.

Not perfectly. Not instantly. But on purpose.

This isn’t a practice so you can judge yourself for your thoughts - it is so you can consciously become aware of what you are thinking & see how that is creating results in your life, then from there you get to decide to hang on to it or do the work to find thoughts that better serve you.

If you get stuck picking new beliefs—or your mind still feels like chaos—let’s chat!

This is the kind of work we do in coaching: not just noticing the thoughts, but rewriting the story so it actually serves you.

You don’t have to live by the same old self-talk. You get to choose something new.

Raising Resilient Kids in a Competitive World: A Real Talk Guide for Moms

This topic started with a post at a baseball game. I was sitting there watching, feeling nostalgic for when kids got to do stuff they loved—without it being a cutthroat competition. Without needing to prove they were "good enough" just to play.

I shared some thoughts on IG. And moms flooded my inbox.

Turns out, we’re all wondering the same thing:

When did everything become so intense? When did the fun get replaced with pressure? Why does it feel like kids have to be naturally talented or start straight outta the womb or they’ll never catch up?

Let’s get into it—and what’s actually in our power as parents.

Life isn’t fair. Rejection isn’t optional. And resilience isn’t built in comfort.

We don’t build strong kids by shielding them from the hard stuff. We build strong kids by walking through it with them. Not with sugarcoating. Not with toxic positivity. But with support, vulnerability, and tools they can carry for life.

Life’s gonna hand them hard stuff. Our job isn’t to bubble wrap them—or dismiss what they feel— it’s to give them the tools to bounce back.

As a Mom, My Job Isn’t to Make Life Fair

I don’t need my kid in the starting lineup. I don’t believe everyone deserves a trophy.

But I do miss when kids could play for fun. I do hate that some kids don’t get playing time—ever.

Like my friend Jenna said (when we chatted on IG), our job isn’t to make life fair. It’s to teach them how to be emotionally resilient.

That means we don’t just say, “Suck it up.” We say: “Yeah, this sucks. Yeah, it feels unfair. Here’s how we move through it.”

The Story Kids May Create When They Put Themselves Out There

Kids are constantly making sense of the world—and themselves—through their experiences.

When they try out, audition, or speak up and it doesn’t go their way, here’s what might take root:

• "I’m not good enough."

• "Why did I even try?"

• "I’ll never catch up."

• "They were right—I don’t belong here."

Without support, those thoughts don’t just fade. They turn into beliefs. And those beliefs shape their future decisions.

Let’s help them rewrite the story, even when the outcome isn’t what they hoped for.

What’s In Our Power as Parents?

Here are 6 ways we can help build emotional resilience in our kids:

1. Normalize Rejection Early
Let them know: everyone hears "no." It’s not the no—it’s the story we attach to it.

• Share your own rejections—real-life or famous ones.

• Talk about rejection in shows/movies: “What would you have done?”

• Let them submit to a contest or try out for something low-stakes.

  • Check in after: “How did it feel to try?” “What were you proud of?”

These small exposures build confidence in their ability to bounce back.

2. Teach Them to Separate Outcome from Identity
“This didn’t go my way… and I still matter.”

• Talk about who they are outside of their achievements.

• Celebrate the courage to try—not just the outcome.

• Remind them: Their worth isn’t tied to a trophy, a grade, or a starting spot.

Celebrate who they are and how they showed up, not just what they achieved.

3. Give Them Space to Feel It
Resilience isn’t skipping over the feelings-it’s letting them feel it without shame.

• Don’t rush to fix it.

• Help them name their feelings.

• Validate Them: “Of course you feel disappointed.”

• Don’t try to silver-lining it too soon. Let them be human first.

4. Model How to Bounce Back
Let them see you miss out, grieve, pivot, and try again. They’re watching how we handle disappointment.

5. Reinforce Effort > Outcome
Praise the showing up. The trying. The courage. Not just the win.

• Say: “That must’ve been hard—and I’m proud of you for putting yourself out there.”

• Focus on growth and bravery over perfection.

Success isn’t just measure through external results. It’s who you become in the process.

6. Rejection is Redirection
Help them see that sometimes the closed door leads to what’s really meant for them.

• Share examples of when a no turned into something better.

• Help them hold hope—even if they can’t see it yet.

• Remind them: We can’t always see it now, but we’re not done yet.

They may not fully get it in the moment, but these conversations plant seeds. We help shape the story they tell themselves after a “no.” So it doesn’t turn into a lifelong belief that they weren’t good enough.

We don’t control the outcome. But we can help them build the tools so rejection doesn’t wreck their worth.

What No One Tells You About Body Image Spirals

You can do all the work. Unlearn the diet culture BS.
Know your worth isn’t tied to the scale or the size of your pants.
Hell—you can coach others through it.

Yet still—some days, you look in the mirror or step on the scale... And bam. The spiral hits.

(And it doesn't help when all of social media is screaming at you to shrink yourself.)

"Just eat less."
"You can’t go on vacation like this."
"Summer’s coming, you better fix this."

And just like that, any self-acceptance goes out the window. Now it’s about control and punishment.

Most of us take one of two roads:

👉🏼 Self-Sabotage (“I already messed up… what’s the point?”)
This looks like:

• Eating more because you already feel bad about what you ate earlier

• Skipping movement even though you know it helps your mood—"why bother?"

• Dismissing small wins and any progress you’ve made

• Doing the things that make you feel like shit (overeating, overdrinking) and saying, "I'll start fresh Monday"

• Letting the shame spiral convince you you’re failing—so you act like it’s true
  (Our brains LOVE to prove old stories right.)

In self-sabotage, you're not caring for yourself. You're numbing and avoiding.

👉🏼 Punishment Mode (“Fix it. Fast.”)
This looks like:

• Restricting food—not because it feels good, but because you feel guilty AF

• Cutting back on carbs even though you know how that ends

• Obsessively searching for the quick fix to “undo the damage”

• Pushing yourself into workouts that feel like punishment

• Going out, but you’re in your head the whole time, convinced everyone’s judging you
  (👀 Spoiler: it’s you judging you.)

This isn’t discipline. It’s fear disguised as control.

The third path is quieter—but it’s the one we actually need to get unstuck:

👉🏼 Self-Respect (“I can take care of myself—because I matter. Even on the hard days.”)
This looks like:

• Eating foods that feel good physically and emotionally

• Moving in ways that reconnect you to your body

• Speaking to yourself like someone you care about—even when it’s uncomfortable

• Wearing the outfit anyway—because hiding isn’t the vibe

• Letting your body exist without being the enemy

• Reminding yourself: these stories were never really yours (thanks, diet culture, social media, and generational patterns we didn’t ask for)

• Making changes from self-respect—not self-rejection

🖤 This path builds trust.
🖤 It creates consistency.
🖤 It helps you stop obsessing over your body so you can actually live your life.

No perfection required.

So before you spiral down those old paths again… ask yourself:
👉🏼 How can I take care of myself today—without punishing my body?
👉🏼 What would feel good right now, based on what I need—not what I weigh or how I look?

Let this be your pause. Let this be the moment you choose compassion over control. Love doesn’t always look like warm fuzzies. Sometimes it looks like not being an asshole to yourself on the hard days.

And if that third path still feels far away for you—let’s chat.
This is the exact work I do with my clients. It is a practice I use myself too.

No One Prepares You for the Moment Your Kid Gets Cut—Here’s What I Learned as a Coach

Trying out for anything can be a lot. Not just the routine. Or the performance. But the whole damn thing.

The pressure. The possibility of not making it. The fear that the outcome means something about who you are.

I wasn’t a kid who tried out for things. (No, hockey cheerleading does not count. 😆)
But really I didn’t grow up doing anything competitive.

So watching my kids put themselves out there—knowing it might end in rejection—has cracked me wide open. I never had to walk into school and say, "I didn’t make it." (Or, "I made it, but I sit the bench." IYKYK.)

I couldn’t have had these kinds of conversations with my kids before coaching came Into my life. I wouldn’t have known how to help them separate who they are from the outcome they got. (Side note: one of them is better at this than the other…)

Old me would’ve tried to fix it fast.
Deflect. Distract. Cheer them up.
Not because I didn’t care—I just thought that was the "right" thing to do.

Now?
I let them feel it.
The disappointment. The sadness. The frustration.
I don’t rush it.
I let the emotion come up, because it needs somewhere to go.

And when they’re ready, I ask: What do you want to do with this?

Let’s talk about Maren.
She tried out for the middle school dance team. 25 girls. 20 made it. She didn’t.

I was at my girlfriend’s house when we found out, my first instinct was to run home (Aaron was with her) but I’m glad I didn’t. I had time to process MY emotions so that when I got home, I could help her do the same.

When I got home, I found her in her room. I sat down beside her and I asked her what she needed.
A hug? A good cry? To talk?

She needed it all. And I was able to hold space for her.

Then she said, “Everyone’s going to ask tomorrow.”

I told her: "You can say, 'I’d rather not talk about it.' That’s a full sentence too."

She told me she didn’t know some of the moves, so she just stood there.

I told her to keep in mind, we had some specific moves they said they’d evaluate during tryouts, but we didn’t know how precisely she’d need to know them—or how much technique mattered. (That context helped soften the sting a bit.)

We talked about how she was also learning a complex dance in a short amount of time.
It was her first tryout, and we honestly had no idea what to expect.

It was a learning experience. A lesson. That’s it.

I told her something I wish I’d heard at her age: No doesn’t mean no forever. It just means not right now.

Now we have information. And we get to decide what to do with it.

Does she want to try again next year? What would help her feel ready? More classes? Private lessons?
Or maybe she gives it some time and decides later.

I reminded her: This doesn’t define her.
It’s just a moment.
A moment that feels big now—and teaches you how to stand back up.

And honestly? That’s a skill a lot of adults are still learning.

How many of us still think a "no" means we’re not good enough? How often do we turn a setback into a full-blown self-worth spiral?

This is why coaching changed everything for me. It gave me the tools to sit with hard emotions, ask better questions, and stop tying my worth to outcomes.

And now I get to teach that to my kids, too.

No one gives you a manual for this part of motherhood. These moments aren’t easy—but they’re where so much growth happens. For them. For us. And we don’t have to get it perfect to show up with love.

To every mom navigating moments like this—where your heart breaks right alongside theirs—I see you. And you’re doing better than you think.

This wasn’t her tryout dance - this was a dance she was creating this morning in our gym at home, but I had to share it. Something about it brought me to tears.

The Biggest Myth About Coaching: Your Coach Will Judge You for Not Doing the Work

Me stalking my clients social media when they go silent. LOL.

Recently I did a post on why we stop showing up for ourselves (read it here)—but today is about why clients often stop showing up for coaching.

Some of the same things apply—change is hard, resistance shows up fast, and comfort feels safer than the unknown. But here’s something I see all the time:

Clients go quiet because they think they’ve failed.

They assume they need to “get it together” before showing up. That their coach will be disappointed. That they have to earn their spot back by doing the work first.

But here’s the truth: that’s the biggest myth out there.

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Why You Need to Show Up (Even When You Feel Like You’ve Failed)

• Your Coach Isn’t Judging You—They’re There to Support You – You didn’t hire a coach to get a gold star. You hired them to help you figure out what’s getting in your way. A session where you didn’t follow through is just as important (if not more) than one where you did.

• The Work Is in the Struggle – Coaching isn’t about having it all together. It’s about learning to navigate the moments when you don’t. That’s where your old patterns get exposed—and where real growth starts.

• Avoiding It Reinforces Old Habits – When you ghost your coach, you’re strengthening the habit of hiding when things get hard. When you show up anyway? You prove to yourself that you can face things without shame.

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How Coaching Helps You Move Through It

1. Helps You See the Real Roadblocks – Not doing the thing doesn’t mean you failed. It means something deeper is going on. Coaching helps you uncover it.

2. Gives You Tools You Can Actually Use – Real progress happens when you understand why you didn’t follow through and learn a new way to approach it.

3. Keeps You Connected to the Bigger Picture – When you’re in your head, it’s easy to spiral. A coach pulls you back to what matters and helps you reset without shame.

So if you’ve been dodging your next session because you didn’t do what you said you would—this is your sign: Show up anyway.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present. That’s where the change happens.