We’ve had many first days around here but this year hits different.
The one who made me a mom is a senior. His last 1st day of HS.
And my baby, is going into middle school, 6th grade.
The older generations try to warn us about how fast time goes when you’re a parent but we don't listen & even if we did, there’s no lesson on the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the "time is a thief" warning.
But then you’re IN IT & things you didn't think would be a big deal suddenly are a big deal..like these milestone moments in their school years.
And you’re like, "where the f*ck did these feelings come from? What is this sensation in my chest? The pit in my stomach?" (Anxiousness & sadness love to take up residence in those places for me when I'm in my feels.)
Here’s what I’ve learned from coaching-if we weren't able to feel the grief that comes with our kids growing up-then we wouldn't be able to feel the immense amount of f*cking joy that has come from being their parent.
As humans, we are lucky enough (although, it doesn't always feel "lucky") to be able to love something or someone so deeply that we also feel the pain of loss. And sometimes that loss looks like our babies growing, hitting milestones, becoming tweens & teens or young adults, going off to college - needing us less & less.
And while we may long for the days when they were little (& maybe slightly less embarrassed by us in public)-we are also proud of who they've become & excited for what lies ahead.
There is this duality that we live with as moms - "I miss when...." AND "I am so excited for...."
And on days like today-when you send your firstborn off to his senior year & your baby off to middle school-that AND hits a little harder.
But when we stop fighting it & just embrace the human experience-ALL the emotions, messy & beautiful-we make space for the AND to simply exist.
All of that to say...I’ve loved (ok, I've also disliked) parts of every season from the last 17 & 11 years of their lives getting to watch them grow into who they are AND I can't wait to see what this season of life brings for my babies.
Happy 1st Day of School.
Xoxo to all the mamas.
I see you.🫶🏼