Social Media VS Reality

Same girl, different angle.

Posed:

  • Definition.

  • Visible thigh gap.

  • Leaner looking legs.

  • No armpit bulge.

Not posed:

  • Relaxed squishy belly.

  • No thigh gap.

  • Thicker thighs.

  • Bra bulge.

Both are fine but one isn’t the reality of how we look in a relaxed everyday state.

Most of the time what you’re seeing on social media is THE best pic. Maybe even posed, filtered AND digitally altered.

The problem is that seeing “perfect” pictures all of the time on your feed can actually have a lot of power over your own body satisfication, IF you let it.

Between social constructs & social media images it’s easy to get caught up in how you WISH you looked or think you SHOULD look.

But the reality is, your body changes daily. It can take on different shapes depending on how you’re sitting, standing or even based on what you eat.

No one is perfect. It’s normal for us to have dimples & rolls. You’ll have shitty lighting sometimes & angles that you prefer. All of that is ok!

I’m not saying post the pics you don’t love, I’m saying you don’t have to beat yourself up over them. And you certainly don’t need to modify your pictures.

You’re still you - just in a different position. That doesn’t make you any less beautiful or worthy.

So here’s my reminder to the women in my life:

Your body is beautiful if you have a body. That’s it. Congrats. You’re beautiful. You win.

2023 - Courage + Bravery

Courage is not the absence of fear or difficult emotions, it’s the ability to acknowledge them & instead of running the other way, you move into them so you can move through them.🙏🏼

During my meditation, the instructor said:

“You have the strength to move into & through, do not doubt yourself. Inhale courage. Exhale doubt.”

Think about it - everything we do or don’t do in life is a because of how it will make us feel.

What if you knew you could handle any emotion that came your way?

What new risks would you take?

What would you do that you have been afraid to do?

How would you show up differently in your life?

I don’t do resolutions anymore. I do words.

Do you have a word for 2023?

Hello? Is it me you're looking for...

I mean, if you are here, on this page, one would assume you are looking for me.

It has been a minute, huh?

Wanna hear the craziest thing that has happened since you last heard from me?
Ok, I will tell you.
WE MOVED BACK HOME!

SAY WHAT?!?!
Yes, we did. And it feels good to be back.

At the corner of Ashley & Yolo near our home in California.

If you hadn’t taken it away from previous blog posts - the move was HARD AF.
It took a toll on me. I was NOT myself. It just didn’t fit into how or where I envisioned raising my kids.
And ultimately Aaron realized it was not where he wanted to be either.
It was not a good fit for us.

So here we are, back in MO! The kids are both back in their previous schools and doing well.
Everyone is feeling the benefits of being home.

Even though I didn’t come home to “my” home - I am NEARBY (like drive past my old house to get out of the neighborhood kind of close) - in a rental as we build a new home.

There is something about home that has gravity.
When you are out of alignment with what you value & know is best in your core - your mind + body will send you plenty of signals. If you listen closely & it will guide you right where you belong.

I will be slowly getting back into my groove with my blog but as always, I typically don’t miss a day over on social media.

As far as coaching goes - I am shifting my offer stay tuned for more on that!

Bitchface (I'm gonna trademark that one)...

BITCHFACE!

That is my new name for my INNER CRITIC. We all have one. The voice in your head that loves to feed you bullshit & negative opinions.

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Look, we can’t get rid of bitchface completely (I am going to assume that those of you who are my people will now lovingly refer to your inner critic as bitchface from here on out) - but we CAN learn how to manage it.

When my amazing photographer sent me this pic, bitchface came out in FULL force.

This has NOTHING to do with my photographer or her mad skills behind the lens but everything to do with the lens through which I was choosing to think of myself in this particular shot.

The thoughts that ran through my mind were not so nice…

“Could you be any less natural in front of the camera.”

“Your hair is a mess.”

“Why can’t you look like the other badass biz woman you see in pics?!”

Think about it, our brains are NOT used to looking at pictures of ourselves & finding all the ways we look amazing. That’s NOT natural. In fact, it feels way easier hate on ourselves.

So what do you do when bitchface comes at you with her “evil” vibes?!

  1. Awareness. Get curious. What does your inner critic say most often? Is this thought based on a fact or just bs? Where did thought this come from?

  2. Acknowledge. No more trying to push it down & ignore it. How is bitchface trying to protect you by feeding you with these thoughts?

For me: deep down, she didn’t want OTHER people to SEE what I was thinking about myself. She was trying to protect me from potential shame or embarrassment.

3. “I hear you, thanks for your OPINION but no thanks.”

For me it was: “I hear you bitchface but I am not believing any of that nonsense about me today. Today I choose to believe that my smile looks amazing, my eyelashes are on point & I rocked my first ever solo photoshoot as an entrepreneur.”

4. Compassion! How else can you view yourself or whatever your brain is feeding you from a more compassionate perspective?

5. Take action from your higher self - the one who really knows what’s up & wants what is best for you.

This isn’t a fool proof practice. Even someone who DOES the work will still have thoughts that creep in…that does not mean anything is wrong with you. You are NOT broken. You do NOT need to be fixed. It means you are human. Remember, just because you have a thought, DOES NOT MAKE IT TRUE!