Story time!!! With a lesson of course.
I hosted my second Coaching + Cocktails Workshop last night. The previous one was a year ago…my intention was to do them quarterly but to be 100% honest, I got in my own way (even though I’ve hosted workshops on behalf of other people in between then and now…silly brain).
The first one was a topic near and dear to my heart—your inner critic and learning tools to turn the volume down on her. This time around, the topic was Tapping into Your Future Self.
And honestly, this isn’t just something I use for workshops. I use this Future Self work in so many parts of my life—how I show up as a parent, how I take care of myself, and how I make decisions that feel good long term instead of just in the moment.
I also use this work with my clients. When they’re stuck in old stories or spinning in “I always quit” or “this is just how I am,” I help them borrow from the version of themselves who’s already figured it out.
That’s not something most of us are taught. We’re taught to look outside ourselves for answers—or we just stay right where we are because we don’t realize what’s possible.
But our Future Self does. She sees what’s on the other side. And when you practice stepping into her—even for a moment—you start making different choices right now that create those possibilities.
And the exact process I taught was what I walked myself through to get me to the other side of the event without letting my brain go into freak out mode and wanting to hide instead of host. Ha!
Because there’s a version of me who has spun in these questions before:
→ “What if no one signs up?”
→ “What if it flops?”
→ “What if I’m not ready?”
And I know where those thoughts lead—because I’ve been her. That version of me has quit before. She panicked. She checked sign-ups every hour. She let the fear and the “what ifs” mean something about her.
But this time I did something different. About two days into planning, when it started to feel “difficult” and I felt “stuck,” I had this moment of like, “Ashley… just ask your Future Self. DUH!”
Hell, I even caught myself almost changing the topic because I thought, “Seriously? You’re teaching this exact topic and you’re not even using it?!” The irony, right?
So after I laughed at myself and got over that little hump, I stepped into my Future Self before the results showed up. I made decisions she would make—from where to host it, to how she would show up that night for the women attending.
When my brain wanted to spiral on the “what ifs,” I asked how she would think instead. When I felt stuck on how to talk about it on social media so women felt the value of being in the room, I asked her.
Because here’s the thing: our Future Self sees possibility where our current self sees stuck.
And if I still felt stuck (because sometimes you do), I leaned on my coach. Because Future Me also knows when she’s in her own head and needs a nudge to get out of it.
I journaled as her. I got clear on how she would show up, how she carried herself, what she was feeling. I closed my eyes and walked myself through the night: driving there, greeting the women, laughing over apps, closing it out and feeling proud—not because it was perfect, but because I followed through.
That practice calmed me down. It gave me something solid to lean on instead of fear.
Here’s the shift:
I had to think, feel, and act like her first.
The results followed after.
My future self wasn’t worried about Coaching + Cocktails. Ok, maybe she was a little BUT she did not let that stop her - that is the difference! She already knew she’d hosted it. She knew this is how she’d connect with amazing women. She knew every event would grow her as a coach and as a human.
And the more I channeled her, the more I made different choices:
I put the event out there because my future self would do it without question.
When sign-ups slowed down, I didn’t ghost the event. I did what my future self would do, I kept showing up, sharing, and inviting.
Old me would’ve spiraled over every empty spot. My future self trusted it was part of the process.
That’s the real power of your future self. She’s the version of you who’s already figured it out—and when you borrow her mindset, you stop recreating the past. You step into possibility and growth.
Because everything is created twice: first in your mind, then in reality.
And last night, I showed up as the Future Me I’ve been practicing. That’s what allowed me to give my best to them. Was my best perfect? F*ck no. But that’s not the point—there’s no pressure to be some flawless version of her. She’s still growing too. What mattered is that tapping into her gave me a level of confidence I never would’ve had otherwise—especially walking women through one of my favorite topics for the first time outside of 1:1 coaching.
