Maybe instead of giving ourselves gold stars for carrying the weight of everything, we should start asking why we think we have to in the first place.
We’ve been sold this lie that running on fumes and still showing up for everyone else is some kind of badge of honor.
The one that says if you’re the last one standing at the end of the day — kids fed, inbox cleared, to-do list checked, smile still plastered on — you’ve somehow “won.”
It’s not strength.
It’s not resilience.
It’s burnout disguised as supermom.
And I get it — I’ve done it too.
When I was in corporate, I spent more hours trying to prove my worth than actually living my life.
It felt like a proving grounds daily - be the first one in the office and the last one to leave or ALWAYS be on if a client or someone on your team emails you — it was a miserable way to try to “prove your value” in the company.
And even when I got home (or closed my office door when I worked from home), it didn’t stop.
It felt like Groundhog Day — work, pick up my kids, throw something together for dinner, try to “make memories” in our spare time and be a good mom… then collapse into bed just to wake up and do it all again.
I made ZERO time for me.
Just an endless loop of doing, proving, and pretending I was fine.
Many of us think that’s just what being a “good” mom and wife looks like.
We tell ourselves we have to.
For our kids.
For our job.
For the people who “need” us.
(Umm, hi… WE need US. 🫶🏼)
So we keep going.
We keep juggling.
We keep pretending we’re okay, even when we’re one coffee away from crying in the Target parking lot.
Here’s what I finally learned after years of running on caffeine and resentment:
Your worth isn’t tied to how much you do.
You don’t earn it by saying yes when you want to say no.
You don’t increase it by being the one who always shows up, fixes things, or smooths everything over.
You already have it — simply because you exist.
(And for the record, I’m still unlearning this too — catching those old beliefs when they sneak back in.)
When you stop trying to prove your worth, something powerful happens:
You create space to live by your values instead of everyone else’s expectations.
You stop performing and start being.
You stop managing everyone else’s emotions and start paying attention to your own.
You start remembering what it feels like to actually enjoy your life — not just survive it.
The goal isn’t to stop showing up for people.
It’s to stop showing up for everything.
You can still be a loving mom, partner, friend, and human — without doing it all.
In fact, you’ll show up better when you’re not stretched so damn thin.
You can:
💁🏼♀️ Say no without guilt.
💁🏼♀️ Rest without feeling lazy.
💁🏼♀️ Take care of yourself and the people you love — without losing yourself in the process.
If you’re reading this thinking, “Okay, but how do I even start?” — start small.
Ask yourself:
What’s one thing I’m doing out of guilt or habit that I don’t actually want to do?
What would change if I stopped trying to keep up with everyone else?
What do I actually need — not what’s expected of me, not what I should need, but what I genuinely need right now?
Then — take one thing off your plate this week.
Say no to something that doesn’t feel like a yes.
Let the laundry sit another day.
Use your kids sports practice as time for yourself (no, you don’t need to sit there).
Order the damn pizza.
You’re not failing — you’re freeing yourself.
Because the real flex isn’t proving you can handle it all.
It’s knowing when to stop pushing.
When to rest.
When to say, “Not today.”
The peace you’re craving is not in doing more. It’s in the letting go.
If this hit a little close to home, you’re not alone.
This is the exact work I do with my clients — helping women stop proving, start prioritizing what actually matters, and create lives that feel good from the inside out.
Because the goal isn’t to do more. It’s to feel more like you.