After every event or workshop I host, I do my own little evaluation.
What worked
What didn’t
What I’d do differently next time
That part’s helpful. That’s how I learn and grow.
But then a few days later… my brain likes to go off-script.
It starts reminding me of everything I didn’t do —
Like how I forgot to share a few examples of how I personally use the tool I taught.
(Reminder: this evaluation is supposed to help me improve, not roast myself…but my brain can be a bit of an ass sometimes.)
And then it loves to throw in a few classics:
“They probably didn’t get what they needed.”
“Who are you to be coaching a room full of women?”
And there it is — the old story trying to make a comeback.
If I listened to it, I’d never show up again.
My current (and Future) Self are living proof that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
But my past self still loves to try to pull me back in. 🤦🏼♀️
That’s the weird in-between — the messy middle between who I used to be and who I’m becoming.
And that’s where those stories get the loudest.
They whisper,
“Stay small.”
“Don’t get too confident.”
“Play it safe.”
Your brain’s job is to keep you comfortable.
Familiar.
Predictable.
And when you start doing things that stretch you — things your old self wouldn’t have dared to do — your brain freaks the hell out.
Because growth feels unsafe to the part of you that just wants to be liked, accepted, and certain.
Here’s the thing: self-doubt isn’t proof you’re not capable.
It’s not even a fact.
It’s a thought loop built from old beliefs — the ones your brain created to keep you safe, not growing or trying to new things.
Self-doubt isn’t a warning sign to stop. It’s an old story trying to keep you small.
When you believe that story, you start spinning.
You replay every moment, every “mistake,” every reason you shouldn’t be where you are.
You start finding all the evidence for how that story is still true — and before you know it, you’re torn between seeking comfort in the old version of you and still wanting to step into something new.
Coaching taught me how to catch those thoughts before they run the show.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
Notice it. Catch the thought before you automatically believe it. “Oh hey, there’s that old story again.”
Name it. Say what it is — fear, perfectionism, comparison, whatever.
Question it. Ask, “Is that actually true?” and “What else could be true?”
Redirect it. Find evidence for your new story — proof of the woman you’re becoming.
Because that’s what we all do, right?
We tell ourselves stories all day long:
“I can’t do that.”
“I’m not ready.”
“They’ll think I’m too much.”
But when you start questioning them —
When you shift your brain from fear to possibility —
You stop playing small and start creating what you actually want in life.
That’s how you spot the story.
That’s how you take your power back.
So yeah, maybe I missed a few points I wanted to touch on at my event.
But I also filled a room with women who showed up because they believe in what I do.
That’s my proof.
Proof that the new story — “I’m a coach who hosts events and changes lives” — isn’t just possible.
It’s already happening.
And that’s the work I want for every woman I coach:
To stop looking for confidence before you act…and start acting in ways that build your confidence.
Because if you keep waiting to feel ready before you believe you belong, you’ll stay stuck in that loop forever.
Your Future Self doesn’t have it all figured out — she’s just learned to stop letting old stories run the show.
She’s built enough evidence to trust that she’s allowed to take up space, even when it feels uncomfortable.
The goal isn’t to never feel self-doubt again — it’s to notice it sooner and recover faster.
That’s what “moving through it” actually looks like.
Less time spinning, more time choosing the story that serves who you’re becoming.
So next time your brain starts throwing shade, remember:
Self-doubt isn’t proof you’re not ready — it’s an old version of you trying to keep you safe.
You don’t have to get rid of it.
You just have to recognize it for what it is…
and keep moving toward the version of you who already knows —you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.