For the moms trying to keep every holiday tradition alive — here’s your reminder that the holidays get to be yours too.
If you’ve ever gone through a holiday season on autopilot — doing all the things because that’s just what we do — you’re not alone.
We bake the cookies, send the cards (although I dropped this one years ago…for me, that felt aligned & damn good), overfill the calendar, and keep traditions alive that maybe don’t even light us up anymore.
We do it out of habit, guilt, or pressure — not always out of joy.
And while we love the memories those traditions once created, sometimes they just don’t fit this version of our life anymore.
But why, Ashley?! Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?!
We fall into what I call holiday autopilot.
It’s that mix of nostalgia, obligation, and fear of disappointing others.
We tell ourselves:
“It’s what my family expects.”
“My kids will be sad if we don’t.”
“It’s just easier to do it than deal with the guilt.”
And you question none of those thoughts.
But here’s the truth: you’re an adult now — with your own family, your own season of life, and your own priorities.
What used to work might not fit anymore, and that’s okay.
Allow me to Give You Permission to Choose What Fits Now
You’re allowed to create new memories and traditions that fit you — not just repeat the ones you grew up with or keep saying yes to everyone else because you think you have to.
You get to decide what actually feels right for your family this year.
And that might look quieter, simpler, or completely different from what you grew up with.
That doesn’t make it less meaningful — it makes it yours.
A Personal Example: Redefining “Tradition”
A few years ago, we realized we didn’t even like traditional holiday meals.
Every Thanksgiving we’d cook all the things we were “supposed” to — turkey, stuffing, casseroles — and by the end of the day, we were exhausted, stuffed, and honestly… feeling like complete ass.
So we changed it.
Now, our Thanksgiving spread is full of finger foods — things we actually enjoy eating and don’t feel miserable afterward. The pressure’s gone, and for us, it’s fun.
And for Christmas Eve, we ditched the stress of cooking altogether. We all get dressed up, go out to eat, and enjoy the slow pace of the evening instead of rushing around the kitchen.
And no one misses the old way. We leave dinner satisfied from a good meal, happy, and not chained to dishes or a food coma for the rest of our night.
That’s what it means to make the holidays yours.
Check In: Here are a few questions to help you reflect on what you truly want this season to look like:
If no one expected anything from you this year, what parts of the holidays would you actually still choose to do?
Am I doing this because it feels good and aligns with what matters to me — or because I’d feel guilty if I didn’t?
What memories and feelings do I want my kids to grow up remembering — and how do I want to show up for them this season?
Listen — if there are things you love and want to carry on, amazing.
But if there are things you’re doing out of pressure, guilt, or habit, it’s okay to let them go and make space for what feels right for you.
You don’t need permission from anyone else.
But if you need a reminder — this is it.
If you read this blog post, you’re here for a reason,, take it as your sign to give yourself permission to let go of the pressure, set some boundaries, and take your power back this holiday season.
Come find me on IG, I will be talking all things that will help you create a calm, connected, and intentional holiday season.
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