Aaron and I were walking the other day, talking about Mason and his experience in sports (baseball, martial arts) + life in general.
We realized we are raising and watching the same exact kid, but telling very different stories.
I mean, obviously we both love him unconditionally but it was so interesting to notice how different our stories are about why he plays, how he shows up, and what it all means.
And what hit me was this:
Our stories say more about us than they do about him.
His choices, his behavior, even the way he shows up for a game… Aaron sees one thing. I see another.
And it makes total sense—he's bringing his experience as a dad, a man, a former athlete.
I’m bringing mine as a mom, a woman, and someone who grew up not involved in a lot of extracurricular activities, especially anything competitive.
It’s wild how two people can love the same human so much… and still see them so differently.
It was such a reminder that what we see in our kids is filtered through our own lens—our experiences, fears, and even how we were raised.
And if we’re not paying attention, that lens can get in the way of actually seeing our kids clearly.
If we’re not careful, our story about our kids can become their story, the one they start believing.
Because what we think about him shapes how we feel about him—which shapes how we show up for him. And that can impact the story he starts to believe about himself.
Tell a kid they’re lazy enough times? They’ll believe it.
Tell them they’re always a hot mess, don't know how to behave or too sensitive, or always distracted?
They’ll start to believe that behavior equals identity. Even if it’s just a season—not the full picture of who they are.
✨Kids internalize what they hear—whether it’s from us, teachers, coaches, or the world around them. Over time, repeated messages start to shape how they see themselves. Many of us are just now realizing how much of that we picked up, too—and how much we can unlearn.
✨Sometimes the beliefs we’ve inherited—the ones passed down to us—need to be questioned. Especially when they’re no longer serving us or our kids. That’s how we stop the cycle from continuing.
✨The labels we give them can become self-fulfilling prophecies. You hear something enough times, you start to act as if…
✨The story you believe about your child shapes how you show up toward them—and that reinforces the story they start to believe.
And that’s how stories get passed down—subtly, but powerfully.
So I’ve been trying to be better about checking in with myself lately.
Is the story I’m telling about my son helping him?
Is it helping me show up the way I want to as his mom?
Are we seeing him clearly?
Or are we seeing him through our own lens?
Because that story has the power to shape how he sees himself.
And I want to make damn sure it's one that builds him up—not boxes him in.