We’re kicking this series off with an intro — a summary of what’s to come, if you will.
$hit I Haven't Talked About Post Tummy Tuck + Lipo.

I’ve shared small pieces of this story on social, but it’s time for the full version — not to convince anyone to do (or not do) what I did, but simply to tell the truth about what it’s been like for me.

Two reasons I’m sharing this:
1. To help anyone make a more informed decision. (I’m putting together a list of questions to help you get clarity if surgery is something on your mind—it’ll drop with the last post of this series.)
2. Because I’m typically an open book, and I’ve gone through some highs and lows with my body over the last few years that I haven’t fully talked about. I had shared on social about these struggles in small doses. But now that I’ve had time to process and reflect, I’m ready to write it all out.

I’ll admit, there were layers of shame built into not talking about it more openly as it was happening.

Shame that my body has changed so much since 2021.
Shame that I still have body image disruptions.
Shame that I coach women on self-acceptance and still have days where I want to crawl out of my own damn skin.

(FYI: Self-acceptance doesn’t mean you love your body every day—it means you don’t abandon yourself on the days you don’t.)

But that’s the thing about shame—it grows in silence.

As Brené Brown says:

“If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount in a Petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.
The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle: me too.”

A lot of my shame came from believing that because I’m a coach who helps women work on self-acceptance, I shouldn’t have my own body thoughts.
That I shouldn’t have struggled with my emotions when life got hard and my body changed.
That I shouldn’t have gained weight after being at my “ideal” weight when I had surgery.

So much “shoulding” all over myself — “shoulding” I would never let a client or friend do to themselves.

But here’s what I know now: going through this didn’t make me less of a coach — it made me a better one.

When I first started coaching, I thought doing “the work” meant those hard thoughts would eventually disappear, replaced with shiny new ones — no shitty thoughts ever again. HAHA.
But I quickly learned that is not the point.

Coaching doesn’t erase the thoughts — it gives you the awareness and tools to meet them with compassion instead of judgment.

Different seasons of life bring up old stories in new ways, and that’s not failure. That’s being human.
And the more I’ve learned to show up for myself in those moments, the more I can help my clients do the same — to see that nothing’s wrong with them when the thoughts pop back up, when they have an off body-image day, or when they feel like they’ve lost progress.

We’re not broken. We’re just learning to meet ourselves differently.

So in sharing my story, I'm hoping to give shame less room to grow. Don't get me wrong - there may be a vulnerability hangover that comes from this series - but I'm just gonna let that be what it is...

When I had my surgery in 2021, I thought I was in full body acceptance.
But the truth is, the body I had accepted wasn’t my real body—it was my diet body.

Smaller. Controlled. Kept that way by years of programs and portion containers and calorie counting disguised as “healthy.”

When I finally broke up with diet culture, started mindful eating, and stopped living in a constant deficit, my real body showed up.
And it was different.

That didn’t mean the old work failed.
It meant I had entered a new season with new triggers and new lessons waiting for me.
Healing doesn’t erase the hard moments—it just gives you the tools to face them differently.

Here’s how it all unfolded:

2015: Became a coach through an MLM focused on dieting + workout programs
April 2021: Tummy tuck + liposuction
July 2021: Cross-country move
January 2022: Moved back home
2022–2023: Started breaking up with diet culture, dabbling in mindful eating
Late 2023–2024: Began practicing intuitive eating more consistently

So yeah… my body has changed a lot in that time.
And it’s been harder to re-accept it than I ever expected.

The old thoughts crept in a lot during that season.
The shame unpacked her bags.
And sometimes, I let her stay longer than I should.

But each version of me has taught me something new—and this one’s no different.

This version of me is learning to live what I teach - that growth isn’t linear, that awareness doesn’t erase the hard parts, and that you can accept yourself even on the days it still feels hard — hold compassion for yourself when the old thoughts show up — and know that you can hold both acceptance and growth at the same time.
(AND is a powerful word in acceptance)

Diet culture was like a toxic relationship I didn’t realize I was in.
I had accepted the body that constant dieting created—mom sag and all—and even made peace with my loose skin.
But when I finally broke up with diet culture, everything shifted.
It took me down a new path of self-acceptance I didn’t see coming.

This isn’t a before-and-after story.
Those days are long gone.
It’s not a transformation tied up with a pretty bow — it’s the continuation of the work.

Over the next few posts, I’ll share:
→ Why I chose surgery
→ What happened after
→ The things I didn’t expect
→ The grief and regret I wasn’t prepared for
→ And how I’m learning to accept my body as it is

I’m sharing this for me—and for anyone who’s ever felt lost in their own skin.

(Oh and to keep it even more real, peri-menopause has been adding a whole new twist but that is for another blog series, another time. LOL.)